Epiphany

Have you ever had one of those days that just seems as if everything is finally coming together?

Today was one of those days. Which is great, because I was having a couple of really bad days.I guess it's like they say: It is always darkest before the dawn.

I realized today that I am finally on the right path in my life. I feel like I'm doing the right things, knowing the right people, and seeing the right things.

There are going to be a lot of truths here, but I need to get these things off of my chest so that I can move on with my epiphany and continue down this new path. So, here goes...

1) I am losing weight for me, not anyone else. I am not doing this to look good for other people or to wear smaller clothes. I am not even doing this for the weight loss challenge that I entered into. If I lose, I lose. I am doing this for my health, for my life. I am sick of running out of breath, to the point of exhaustion, just by climbing the stairs to my classroom. I am sick of not being able to play with dog for more than 5 minutes without running out of breath. So, I am going to do better. Eat better, exercise more, drink more water. It's go time.

2) I finally feel like I'm on the right path. At least career wise. I am getting more involved with my LGBT Initiatives this quarter and I finally feel like an integral part of the LGBT community on campus. I am brimming with ideas and now that I have a partner on campus to get things accomplished, I feel like my ideas have a meaning. Also, I know what I want to do after college: I want to move to Washington, D.C. I've always wanted to move there, to live in thick of politics. I was worried what people would think, but I'm not anymore. It is my dream and I want to make it come true. Which leads to...

3) I am going to live out my dreams now, instead of later. I have a friend who set aside her dreams and waited many, many years to pick them up again. By that time, she was fully embedded in her life. To follow her dreams, she had to leave her family, friends, and complete life behind in order to go find her self. I don't ever want that to happen to me. I want to be able to meet people on my way through life, on my way to living my dreams, and bring them with me on the journey.

4) I'm in a relationship that I feel pretty secure in. Scott is one of the best things that has happened to me in a long while. Early on, I still had feelings for a friend of mine. We had gone through this before, and he had told me that he didn't have feelings for me outside of friendship. I understood and we are still really good, close friends. However, there was always a part of me that wondered what if? but I realized that was foolish. Still, the feelings were there for a while. However, I truly know that he doesn't have feelings for me outside of friendship and I am okay with that; I have been for quite a long time. He is one of my closest friends and I hope this doesn't make him feel awkward. :-) If it does, I apologize.

5) I am going to church tomorrow, for the first time in over 7 years. I'm going to church with Matt and Natasha, my two best friends. We're going to a Lutheran church, which is accepting a gays and lesbians. I will let you know how this goes. I am just trying to awaken myself spiritually. I have been thinking a lot about life, death, God, and religion and I haven't talked about it with anyone. Then, Natasha randomly invited me to go with her and I felt like it was a sign. We shall see.

Well, that's it for my epiphany. I hope that I am able to stay in this mindset. It's going to be a challenge, but I'm going to make it work. I know I can.

Thanks for reading! :-D